blog
March 15, 2025
Times are tough. Quotidian, work-a-day concerns have sapped our strength just as Belphegor has designed; we sorely regret inviting him to join the board, he has contributed nothing and he won’t leave. The broader stench of 2025 is closing in, like a fart in the summer in the south when you’re ringing someone’s doorbell to ask them for money. But, we have heard good music lately. Cherries is really the sole bright spot at the moment, though Lemon too, neither of which was anticipated at launch. And we wrote a song, which is shocking, if we get our act together we can launch Rambutan.
March 2, 2025
Fantastic news, our last ditch reclamation effort was successful. On a sour note, it’s extremely short and poorly written. That said, we’ll likely turn it into a serial and start posting. So a win overall.
March 1, 2025
A dark slumber has descended over FruitSmoking, as times are bad. We haven’t yet found our manuscript, though in fairness we did find a note on the translation, which we hadn’t even remembered. Not terrible then. Still, quotidian responsibilities delay the real work.
Feb. 24, 2025
So the least bit of a Plum-related setback, as we’ve completely misplaced the primary project we were working on. However, we mostly remember the first line, or at least the first few words, and we hadn’t gotten very far anyway, and the rest of what was there was bad, so maybe not all is lost. Still, we’ll do a quick check of some decommissioned word processors once we are back at headquarters.
Feb. 22, 2025
We stand at 75% successfully launched, though only 5/12 receive regular updates, and a bit less than that receive interesting regular updates. Which is not great, though it’s just as likely the whole initiative would have collapsed by now, so not terrible either. Springtime should help Pears, if not Peaches; god knows what Rambutan is up to. It’s possible though we’ll work on Plum next, probably not terrible that they receive updates on their own pace, though our technology side project threatens to continue occupying unreasonable amounts of time. On the plus side, we have been adding board members, which would be detailed in the About Us page if we had one. Suffice to say, it is an influential and enviable collection of personalities, some of whom are best kept apart. It is not yet the most diverse group, and we are spearheading an initiative to increase representation accordingly.
Feb. 19, 2025
FruitSmoking currently finds itself on a corporate retreat. Updates are necessarily limited due to the increased distance between our staff and the servers.
Feb. 16, 2025
FruitSmoking About Us: a collective of diverse, like-minded individuals engaging in culture, furniture construction and cross-promotional synergy.
Feb. 15, 2025
So we don’t even have the deluxe Pinkerton it turns out, and it’s a bit out of the FruitSmoking corporate budget at the moment, but it seems likely they’ll release a more proper version next year anyway, so we’ll wait for that. In the meantime, Dusty Gems & Raw Nuggets review up.
Feb. 14, 2025
Happy weezer day. The FruitSmoking offices recognize it as a formal holiday and have been celebrating accordingly, we’ll likely review the deluxe Pinkerton version later tonight, stay tuned! We’ll probably like it.
Feb. 9, 2025
Launch day! And we made it a double, you’re welcome! Lemon has come online with the first three entries, which puts us within 7 million of our closest competitor. And Banana is live too, a bit of a pass through to our sister site perhaps, but the mission of this site is to engage in cross-promotional synergy, so it fits. And the artistry team has a couple weeks’ worth of jimmy & earl in the hopper, which has become a cult favorite. Our first extended Sunday version is today; if there are ads on this site, please click on them to compensate for the additional joules.
Feb. 3, 2025
Cherries continues to receive updates at a fair clip, and a second piece of Literature has been published to plums. Leadership determined it was better not to spend time in editing. There are a few more to go, but before long, somebody will need to generate new “content.”
Feb. 6, 2025
New furnishings at headquarters. Cherries, Lime and Pineapples all continue, with varying levels of being interesting. There are no further updates.
Feb. 2, 2025
So we have added a new page, but not in response to feedback. Cherries is live, and that’s not a bad accomplishment. Also, late Friday night a number of men showed up at headquarters asking for access to our payroll and personnel files, which we granted, no questions asked.
Moving forward, we will be pivoting to a subscription model. If you have subscribed to this website, please let us know in the comments so we can begin billing you.
Feb. 1, 2025
Note to customers: all transactions on FruitSmoking.com, milopotamus.com, and our associated shadow sites are exempt from American tariffs based on the treaty signed at the conclusion of the Seven Years’ War. However, we are raising all prices by 25%. The additional fee will not be reflected on our product pages or collected at checkout, and will instead be assessed through the honor system. In other news, we have heard user complaints that some pages have fallen stale, and others arguably don’t exist. While we are not interested in feedback, especially not from site visitors, it is true that our site’s leadership has been over-engaged in a technology-related side hustle recently, and we expect this to reflect negatively in our annual self-reflection, which is optional. This will likely continue indefinitely.
Jan. 27, 2025
Sales on milopotamus.com are steady, though we’ll see if they’re impacted at all by stock market fluctuations earlier today. Most likely they will not be. Reminder that comments are active, email me if you have any and I’ll post the ones I find relevant. The 100th comment published will receive a 10% discount off a complete collection purchase from milopotamus.com, which will bring the price down to $450,000, which would in fact be the price of purchasing each volume separately. I do not accept any common methods of payment.
Jan. 26, 2025
Forgot I had an Animals album; now I’ve remembered.
Jan. 21, 2025
Fruit Smoking is considering staff wide mandatory transcendentalist meditation, as well as a return to office mandate, though we do not currently have land.
Jan. 18, 2025
And a second series has now been uploaded to Apples, what a week. Uptick in progress in Pineapples, imperceptible though. But, post Lynch, we’re giving it some thought.
Jan. 17, 2025
Exciting news - Apples has launched. And, we’ve added a comment section. If you have a comment, email me, and if approved I’ll add it to one of my blog posts. (For privacy reasons, I cannot share my email address).
Jan. 3, 2025
Despite a complete lack of promotion, sales on milopotamus.com are slow. It is likely taking the search engines some time to index.
Jan. 1, 2025
milopotamus.com launches today, not for the first time, maybe not for the last. All books for sale in physical editions for $50,000 a piece. The complete set is available for $500,000 (note, this is more expensive than if you were to purchase each separately, and there is no additional physical content if you purchase them together.) The site contains neither contact information nor a checkout system, so you will need to see to all the arrangements yourself.
Dec. 31, 2024
Work today has focused on our sister site, milopotamus.com. But we are reviewing more potential contributions to lime.
Dec. 30, 2024
A difficult, unpleasant day at FruitSmoking headquarters, though on the other hand it’s Patti Smith’s birthday and we’ll be listening to horses after the b-side of this blind willie mctell album, so, mixed bag as ever.
Dec. 29, 2024
New section added to the image map! Plum is now live and james is the first story, recently rediscovered. Preliminary work has begun on rambutan, but still in R&D.
Dec. 28, 2024
Reviews posted for the rest of Blue 30th box set. And, came across some fiction that can be posted to plum after some light editing.
Dec. 27, 2024
Reviews posted for Reveal, Around the Sun and Weezer, as predicted. And the first clip of VG-HWM, though that’s stalled out a bit so tbd when the second clip comes. 1-1 in the naked mole rat game. blue album christened new record player. etc, etc, etc.
Dec. 26, 2024
Two moons in the sky, side by side in orbit; otherwise, nothing of note has happened since yesterday. Will soon listen to too-late R.E.M. or too-early =w= and post reviews accordingly.
Dec. 25, 2024
First post on new site. Shared birthday with Cab Calloway, Anwar Sadat, and Jesus.